


Castle on the Hill

by livesybaby



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fluffy, Future Fic, M/M, Soft af, Soft lads, Songfic, maybe slightly OOC, no smut what a shocker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 20:32:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13131618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livesybaby/pseuds/livesybaby
Summary: Inspired by the song 'Castle on the Hill' by Ed Sheeran - go listen - it fits the fic well.Robert realises that maybe leaving wasn't in Aaron's best interests.This is basically just a random drabble that may or may not make complete sense, i'm not so good at writing the fluffy stuff.Constructive Comments appreciated :)





	Castle on the Hill

He had to leave, though Aaron had begged him not to. _Aaron doesn’t beg_ , Robert knows that better than anyone but he had, on that final day, he had. Robert wasn’t good at goodbyes though he’d spent his entire life forced into them by the horrible mistakes he’d made, lives he’d ruined, people he’d hurt and now with the icing on the cake being the paternity test of his only son coming back at zero percent he’d done the only honest thing he’d ever done in his life, he let Aaron go. Though he fought it and begged, like literally fucking begged, Robert knew it was the best thing for him, Aaron needed better and until Robert could be better he couldn’t be the man for him, and so he’d driven away on a Tuesday night in the rain and tried so desperately to block out the image of his broken Husband in his rear view mirror. 

_I found my heart and broke it here, made friends and lost them through the years_

It hadn’t been Victoria that had changed his mind, not in the end. Though her frequent phone calls throughout the first three months had certainly tugged at his heartstrings. No, he’d received his wake up call from the one person he thought hated him most, the sister he never wanted but in the end was all he wished for, Liv. He’d ignored Victoria’s calls and texts mostly, finding it too hard to play nice when all she did was tell her how disappointed she was in him, but the minute, no, the second a text pinged in from Liv he’d fumbled through his phone lock-screen, a picture of their little family at the Mill last Christmas, and opened the text instantly, re-reading it a dozen times before he gulped and punched in a nervous reply.

**Liv: If we ever meant anything to you, then prove it.**  
**Rob: You mean everything to me, you both do. That’s why leaving was for the best.**  
**Liv: Maybe at the time, but not now.**  
**Rob: What do you mean? Is everything okay?**  
**Rob: Liv?**

***One Missed call from Rob***

**Liv: He needs you, we both do. He won’t admit it, but he can’t go on like this forever.**  
**Rob: He’s better of without me, he’ll move on, he has to.**  
**Liv: You’re the only one who can fix him Rob, it’s always been you, always has been, always will be.**  
**Liv: Rob? Please come home.**  
**Liv: Rob?**  
**Rob: I’m on my way x**

It hadn’t taken long for Robert to pack his life into a travel suitcase and a rucksack, tossing them both into the boot of his shitty little Astra. God knows he’d changed in the six months he’d been gone, the flashy, arrogant Robert didn’t exist any more. He’d given up his fancy car, expensive clothes and high-maintenance tastes, nothing mattered any more because who was he impressing? The only man he’d ever loved wasn’t bought by expensive aftershave and posh meals, he knew that now better than he ever did and Robert felt better for it, a weight lifted from his shoulders, he was more village-boy now than he’d been in 20-odd years and he felt comforted by it. He hadn’t needed to punch the address into his Sat-Nav, he knew these roads like a map imprinted on his heart. 

_I’ve not seen the roaring fields in so long, I know, I’ve grown.  
But I can’t wait to go home._

He was borderline speeding down the long lane between Hotten and Emmerdale, he’d been driving nearly three hours now without a stop at a service station, fearing that he’d chicken out and turn back if he stopped to think too much. This was good, things were different now and Aaron would still want him, wouldn’t he? Robert shook his head, switching on the radio to sing at the top of his voice and winding the window down to let the wind blow through his messy blonde hair, in desperate need of a trim but that could wait, Aaron loved it when he grew his hair out. 

_I’m on my way, driving at 90 down those country lanes,  
Singing to ‘Tiny Dancer’ and I miss the way you make, me feel, it’s real._

It was nearing 3pm by the time he pulled up outside Smithy cottage, he realised he wasn’t sure where Aaron would be, maybe at the scrapyard or maybe at home? He sure as hell didn’t want to make a scene by strolling into the Woolpack after all this time so he felt like the Vets was a safe place to park his car while he text Liv, turning down his radio as he scrolled through his contacts list. He was interrupted by a tap.tap.tap on the passenger side, turning to see the queasy grin of Paddy Kirk hovering outside the car. He leaned over and popped the child-lock, allowing Paddy to pull the car door open and plonk himself in the passenger seat uninvited. 

“Did Aaron call you?” He blurted without a moments silence

“Hello to you too Patrick” Robert said pointedly, forcing himself not to roll his eyes when Paddy did that awkward laugh-type thing he always did when he embarrassed himself. 

“Oh! Sorry mate, Hello!” he waved animatedly, Robert trying to get his head around the fact he’d called him mate after all this time “So did Aaron call you?”

“No, it was Liv” Robert nodded awkwardly at the defeated look on Paddy’s face “Should she not have bothered?”

“No!” Paddy gasped “It’s not that, it’s just I wondered if Aaron had finally snapped out of it” 

“Snapped out of what?” Robert furrowed his brows “-and why are you being nice to me? You hate me”

“Hate’s a strong word” Paddy tilted his head, continuing when Robert raised his eyebrows “Aaron’s not been, himself… or maybe that is what he’s like without you, either way it’s not good is it?” Paddy rambled

Roberts mouth opened and closed a few times trying to make sense of the nonsensical ramblings that fell from the Vets mouth. 

“He’s not been good, Robert, without you I mean” Paddy reasoned “We all knew it was getting a bit much for him but we thought he’d get over you once he started seeing that Doctor bloke, well Chas thought so anyway” 

“-and the Doctor thing isn’t going well?” Robert asked carefully

“Oh! No, I don’t mean that. The Doctor, Alex, he’s been gone ages. Aaron dumped him the day you left, though Chas kept pushing it for a while after, but he got the message” Paddy chuckled to himself “Loud and Clear!!” 

“What? He’s not hit him or anything has he?!” Robert blurted, knowing his husbands temperament when backed into a corner

“No! Nothing like that, he just kind of had a massive go at him… in public… while he was dressed like you-” Paddy trailed off

“Aaron was dressed like me?” Robert asked, getting more and more confused by the second

“No!” Paddy shrieked again, going up an octave “Alex was dressed like you… Faith’s idea of course”

“Of course” Robert nodded unconvinced “So what’s Aaron doing now?” 

“He’s at home obviously” Paddy shrugged

“Obviously?” Robert repeated

“Oh, did Liv not say?” Paddy replied “He’s not left his room in over a month, Liv’s staying at the pub with Chas” 

Rock-bottom was the first words to spring to Roberts mind, Aaron had well and truly hit rock-bottom. He stayed outside Smithy as Paddy explained the finer details, Aaron hadn’t dealt well with Robert leaving at all, he’d shut himself off from everyone. Alex of course had pushed the idea of their relationship, even to the point where he tried to be ‘More Robert’ but Aaron wasn’t interested and when no one would help him bring Robert back he’d shut himself in the Mill and shut the world out. Robert felt a stabbing pain in his heart, he’d honestly thought leaving was for the best but all he’d done was ruin Aaron more, and all he wanted now was to take him in his arms and promise everything was going to be better. He left with Paddy’s signature ‘Good Luck’ speech and found himself parked in the driveway of the Mill, lights off and curtains drawn, he kicked the gravel as he approached the front door, his key for home in pride of place on his ‘worlds best husband’ keyring. 

_I’m on my way, I still remember these old country lanes  
When we did not know the answers…_

The house wasn’t much different from the day he’d left, a few pizza boxes decorated the kitchen counter but nothing out of the ordinary. He kicked his shoes off and left them near the entrance, noticing an open DVD case on the coffee table and immediately recognising it as the footage from their wedding, he imagined Aaron had been watching it just like Robert had been over the last few months, whiskey in hand and heart in tatters. The Mill was cold, not just from the temperature but it felt empty, it didn’t feel lived in though he knew Aaron was inside somewhere. The heart of the home had been ripped in two on the day Robert had left, all that remained was the cold empty shell. 

He half-expected to hear movement as he ascended the stairs, he passed Liv’s room - her door decorated with a ‘boys-suck!’ sticker, he smiled for a moment remembering being shoved from the doorway as Liv ranted about privacy and “for fucks sake Rob can’t you read?” He crept past the doorway and headed for his destination, Aaron’s bedroom, their bedroom, once their safe place. The door didn’t creak in the same way Robert remembered and for a moment he thought that Aaron had finally gone out somewhere until he saw the slight bump under the duvet cover and a mess of short brown curls on the pillow, Roberts side of the bed.

He whispered his husbands name so quietly that for a moment he hadn’t thought sound came out at all, he pushed the door shut to and hovered for a moment in the space before moving silently towards the bed, whispering louder now until he watched Aaron’s body freeze before turning to face him in the darkness. 

“R-Robert?” He whispered hoarsely, in that voice reserved for when he was at his lowest “What’s going on?” 

“I’m here” Robert spoke softly, crossing the remaining distance of the bedroom and reaching to switch the bedside lamp on. 

“You’re really here?” Aaron questioned dreamily, Robert took time to analyse his image. He looked wrecked, his eyes were rimmed red and his beard grown out more than he usually allowed it, his face looked thinner, he looked exhausted. Robert watched as he pushed himself to sit up, the covers slipping to reveal Aaron in his favourite red boxers and Robert’s nightshirt. 

“I’m here” Robert repeated, reaching out tentatively to rest his hand on the side of Aaron’s face.

Aaron let himself lean into Roberts touch, goosebumps covering his skin as he let out an involuntary whimper at the sensation he’d been craving so long, six months long or more. Everything felt so comfortable, so right, that Robert was shocked when Aaron stilled, abruptly pushing away from Roberts touch and pulling his knees to his chest defensively. 

“You can go now” He choked out “I’m sure on of them lot phoned you” he nodded his head at no one in particular “Well now your conscience is clear, I haven’t topped myself so you can do one” 

Robert swallowed any fast-reacting comment he was about to spill, instead letting his hand fall into his lap and thinking before speaking, an entirely new concept for a new Robert. “Liv called” he admitted “but she didn’t tell me much, just that you weren’t doing so well”

“Well like I said, I’m fine, you’ve done your good deed for the day-” Aaron ranted

“I didn’t come to pity you Aaron” Robert interrupted, causing Aaron to look up at him momentarily “I came because I thought leaving was the best thing for you, and clearly I was wrong”

“Well you don’t have to worry about me-” He began

“I didn’t come back because I was worried about you Aaron” Robert sighed, roughly carding a hand through his hair “I came back for selfish reasons, as always” 

This peaked Aaron’s interest, who let himself lock eyes with Robert, waiting for him to continue.

“I never wanted to leave in the first place, I left because I thought it was best for you, I wanted you to have a shot with Alex without me being there to ruin things. When Liv said things were different I realised there was no reason to stay away, I came home Aaron, not because you need me around, but because I need to be around you, I need you and clearly me leaving didn’t make you as happy as I wanted it to, so why bother with the heartache?” 

“I never asked you to leave Rob” Aaron said coldly

“I know you didn’t, but I thought I was being selfless, doing what was best for you. I wanted you to be happy Aaron, I thought you would be better off without me and-” 

“How could I be happy without you?” Aaron blurted “You’re in HERE Rob!” he thrust his index finger into his chest “You’re everything I ever wanted and you think by going away that would make me happy?”

“I ruin everything I touch Aaron, you know that better than I do” Robert spoke sadly

“Then ruin me, I don’t care” Aaron breathed “but I’d rather you mess me up personally than leave me to do it myself” 

“You don’t mean that” Robert swallowed

“Messed up, with you, forever, right?” Aaron shrugged “I can’t live without you Rob”

“I-I don’t know what to say…” Robert whispered

Aaron snorted “That’s a first for you” bringing a small smile from Roberts mouth before sighing “Rob, do you still love me?”

“Why are you even asking me that?” Robert shook his head, directing his focus to a blank space on the wall and failing to see Aaron edge closer to him. 

“Just humour me” Aaron whispered, and Robert could feel that he was mere inches from his face, he turned to be met with Aaron’s pleading pools of blue gazing thoughtfully into his. 

“You know I do” He sighed

“Then tell me” Aaron pushed  
“I love you Aaron, I’ve always loved you” Robert sighed, the vulnerability evident in his tremor

Aaron moved closer, closing the slight gap as he brushed his lips against his husbands, not quite kissing him but not moving away like Robert expected him to. 

“I love you Rob” he breathed “I’ll never stop”

Robert let his eyes flutter shut at the soft tone of Aaron’s voice, gasping audibly as Aaron pushed against his mouth, kissing him firmly until Robert reacted, moving his lips against his husbands in a soft, soothing motion. Aaron’s hands cupped Roberts jaw, stroking fingertips against the skin of his neck, Roberts found their way to Aaron’s neck, sliding past his shoulders, exploring his chest, torso and finally slipping comfortably around his waist. 

Robert let Aaron pull him down on top of him, his body protecting his as they fell in love over and over again. Mouthing at the sharpness of Aaron’s bearded jawline, letting him scratch beard-burn into his porcelain skin as he fought back tears because this was perfect, this was exactly what they both needed, this was how it was supposed to be. They slowly stripped down, dropping their clothes to the floor in a non-sexual way just to touch each other, feel their bodies against one and other, lay in each others arms and just exist, together, like this. 

After endless hours of talking, kissing, touching, loving they drifted off to sleep in a safe embrace, both men at home where they were supposed to be in his husbands arms, in their bed, in their home. 

This is how it was supposed to be all along. 

This was home, their hearts as one, in their safe place in the others arms.  
  
_The way you make, me feel, it’s real_  
_When we watched the sunset, over the castle on the hill_  



End file.
